Milestone pressure is real. We might feel anxious about the “when,” always reaching for the next thing we think our babies should be doing.
While it’s helpful to understand general windows when our babies may be eager to acquire certain skills, it’s important that we avoid rushing skills. Instead, we can support conditions that help babies build skills.
Supporting skills vs. rushing skills
Supporting skills might look like: | Rushing skills might look like: |
Learning about milestones by stage, honoring variance between babies of close age ranges | Assuming baby should hit milestones purely by age, compared to other babies |
Observing and celebrating where baby is currently at | Trying to get baby to do something, like sit up before they can navigate that position themselves |
Using wakeful play time to allow free movement where baby gets into the positions that they can move into and out of on their own | Using wakeful play time to prop baby in positions |
Encouraging their current skills by keeping toys at a “just right” challenge level, demonstrated by their interest and ability to interact with items. | Skipping ahead to toys that are too advanced, which can lead to baby ignoring toys altogether or showing excessive frustration. |
Rushing skills usually come from love and excitement. It doesn’t make you a bad parent, just a normal parent who is learning! However, shifting that excitement into more supportive and patient efforts will go a long way for baby’s safety, skills, and confidence.
Three mantras to help you slow down when milestone pressure creeps in:
My baby is happy, healthy, and exactly where they’re supposed to be.
My baby is capable of leading.
I can nurture my baby when I connect, not compare.