When you hear the term “early independence,” it’s important to understand that this simply refers to the ways your baby is capable of leading the course of their natural development. It’s not about getting them to be apart from you. It’s about respecting them as a whole person from the start.
In the early years, independence is functional
Babies, toddlers, and young children all seek functional independence, or the acquisition and mastery of physical and self-care tasks of everyday life. During the first year, functional independence unfolds as your baby goes from supine to walking, crying to talking–all at their own readiness and pace.
Early independence is not an antidote to responsive parenting
Independence comes from a secure, loving attachment with caregivers. In other words, the more connected you both are – the more confident they will be in building a sense of self.
How to support early independence
Do: | Don't: |
Connect, respond and co-regulate with your baby | Expect your baby to self-regulate their emotions |
Give your baby autonomy to choose their play | Entertain your baby as a leader of their play |
Engage with your baby when they seek your reassurance | Interrupt your baby’s focused engagement |
Give your baby time to solve reasonable challenges, like working to get the ball | Intervene at the slightest sign of struggle, such as reaching for a ball |
Independence in your baby's first year is about nurturing their development, treating them as whole people, and providing a secure base from which they can explore the world.