Whether you are a stay-at-home parent and find the weekends monotonous or a working parent struggling to shift from work mode to family mode, solidarity, it’s typical in this season of parenthood to look forward to the weekend only to realize it was not restful after all.
Part of this is because it wasn’t that long ago when we may have been kid-free, and we could define our weekends however we needed and wanted. Having a busy-body toddler often generates feelings of, “how do I keep them entertained?” They’re on the move more than ever, and this generates a mental load that can conflict with your need to recharge.
Here are some mindset shifts and tips:
Toddlers don’t need to be entertained.Promoting yourself as “Play Director” can be an exhausting cycle in which you take on far more duties than necessary. You don’t need to fill their time with your own activity ideas, and doing so can actually create play dependencies. Remember from our Play Toolkit—your role is to set the conditions for play, not to lead their play. Revisit this toolkit if you need a refresher on what this balance looks like.
Weekends don’t have to be kid-centric.The zoo and the bouncy houses are fun, but these types of outings can take a toll on adults – and they can be overstimulating for kids. The beauty of childhood is that they find the ordinary to be extraordinary. The grocery store, a farmer’s market, or a coffee shop – by including your children in your everyday life, you can better meet your self-care needs by restoring balance on the weekends. This is not a loss for your toddler, who also benefits immensely from simple inclusion in the real world – something they naturally crave immersion in so they can understand how stuff works!
While at home, remember play will be a small fraction of the day.This sentiment of everyday inclusion also applies to family life. It’s typical and purposeful for toddlers to want to join you in unloading the dishwasher, rolling towels, or retrieving the mail. Often, we make days unnecessarily stressful with toddlers when we keep trying to force them to play with toys when what they really want is to just be with you and learn how to do what you’re doing.
Divide and conquer.Even if we embrace inclusion by letting our toddlers join us in the things we want and need to do, it’s also valid that we might need a break. Be mindful of when your “check engine light” may be flashing, signaling that it’s time for you to recharge. If you are co-parenting, make a habit of meeting with your partner to see when each of you can plan for solo time. Being able to take care of yourself first can ripple effect into more positive feelings about the weekend, whatever the weekend may bring.
One more tip: consider social self-care! It’s easy to get so bogged down by ideal toddler routines that we sometimes feel isolated on weekends, putting so much effort into caring for our children. If you can find and connect with another family in a similar parenting season, it can be restorative to buddy up and connect with others who relate.