If you identify as an extrovert, parenting with a toddler can be challenging. While you tend to thrive on outings that give you energy, you may quickly find that too much of this drains your toddler.
It’s typical that young children benefit from regular breaks and downtime to recharge. This is because they have a sensitive “absorbent mind” that processes information at a rapid, heightened rate—about one million neural connections every minute! They are prone to overstimulation, but they also genuinely benefit from down time to play their own way—and, of course, to get all their sleep needs met!
This divergence can create friction, as you might feel stifled by a slower pace, while your child may feel stressed by too fast of a grownup pace.
Compromise is key - here are some tips:
Add downtime buffers.Back-to-back plans might sound fun for you, but if your child grows deregulated, it won’t be fun for anyone. Downtime is essential for children. It allows them to process their experiences, regulate their emotions, and recharge their energy. Ignoring a child's need for downtime can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and behavioral issues. To prevent this, create buffers in between big outings.
Plan simple, slow-paced outings.Consider the sensory stimuli of different environments. A movie theater and arcade will likely be too much for a two-year-old. Instead, consider outings where you can have friend time and your toddler can also get their needs met. A cafe or park are great examples of more calming environments that are more likely to benefit both you and your toddler.
Host at your home.Invite your friends to your residence. This surrounds you with good company while lending familiarity to your toddler, which can be grounding. This also makes it easier to put your little one down for a nap if friend time overlaps with rest time.
Consider the time of day.Even if your friend invites you to come out at 3 p.m., prioritizing might not make sense if that tends to be your child’s “witching hour.” Advocate for times of day when your toddler is well-rested and ready to explore, which can set the stage for more enjoyable trips together.
Above all, respect their limits. Pay attention to signs of overstimulation. If an outing or activity becomes too much for them, be willing to cut it short or modify your plans to accommodate their needs. Look for activities that satisfy both your need for engagement and your child's need for calm. Nature walks, creative projects, or visiting a quiet café can be enjoyable for both of you.
Finding a balance is an ongoing process; it won’t always be this tricky! Before you know it, you’ll blink and have a pre-teen eager to join you on all kinds of adventures.