The stages of play, as defined by child development experts, typically include solitary play, parallel play, associative play, and cooperative play. It basically refers to the time all children need to develop cognitively, socially, emotionally in order to play with others – an interaction that actually requires lots of skills! Knowing the stages of play is beneficial for everyday parenting as it allows you to tailor play by understanding what your little one is capable of, and what might be too much, too soon.
For instance, encouraging solitary play in younger toddlers helps them develop focus, while facilitating cooperative play in older children promotes teamwork and communication.
Here’s a quick recap of what each phase looks like. Note, that, these are sequential but children will move from one phase to the next on their own unique timelines. Typically, by kindergarten, all children have reached cooperative play.
Solitary play occurs when a child plays alone, focusing on their own activity without regard for others.
Parallel play involves children playing side by side, often mimicking each other but not directly interacting.
Associative play sees kids beginning to engage with one another through shared activities.
Cooperative play is characterized by organized group activities with shared goals.
Now for some common questions:
Do kids need to be in the “same stage” of play in order to spark meaningful play?
No, children do not need to be in the same stage of play to engage in meaningful interactions. In fact, mixed-age interactions bring distinct learning opportunities, and it’s ideal to aim for a variety of interactions for this reason. For example, a younger child engaged in parallel play can learn from observing an older sibling engaged in associative or cooperative play. This interaction can inspire the younger child to experiment with new social skills and ways of playing, enriching their overall developmental experience.
How do you set up a play space to cater to different ages and stages?
Don’t overthink it! There is more that overlaps in play than you may realize for children of different ages. Always start with safety and design the shared space to be 100 percent safe for the youngest explorer. Once the room is safe, define play prompts that cover a variety of developmental skills like you would do if it was just for one child. Think about prompts that inspire motor skills, language skills, creativity, and problem-solving. Ensure there are flexible workspace options, with plentiful table space and floor space that children can comfortably use.
Should babies and toddlers have separate play spaces?
It's not necessary for babies and toddlers to have completely separate play spaces, and this can be unsustainable for you, too, since both babies and toddlers need your supervision during play. However, it can be beneficial for safety and developmental focus to define spaces for both. This does not need to be done by literally giving your baby one room, and your toddler another room. Instead, you can define a baby space and a toddler space in the same room!
When your baby is non-mobile, place a floor mat or tummy time rug down, and neatly place a few toy options for your baby around their mat. This creates a visual cue to your toddler: “This is baby’s space!” Teach your toddler that they have to walk around the baby’s mat and model how to gently engage from the side of the mat with baby.
Once your baby is mobile, you’ll shift to ensuring the entire play space is safe for both. Allow your toddler to put toys that are special to them in their bedroom so that they don’t feel possessive when the baby starts grabbing at their things. Allowing them to keep some things for themselves helps them feel secure, which can actually lead to sharing down the line. On the contrary, if they feel like they aren’t allowed to have anything to themselves, it can fuel possessiveness and make sharing harder.
What advice or support would you offer parents with large age gaps, such as 7 or 9 years apart?
There is a bigger shift in play between early childhood and grade school, as the tween or adolescent’s needs become much more social and interest based. Whereas, toddlers and preschoolers play in order to acquire a sense of self, and it’s more skills-based than rooted in specific “hobbies.” However, fostering connection through play can be uniquely rewarding with larger age gaps! Older siblings can take on valuable mentorship roles, helping with activities that suit the younger child's interests. This can create a sense of responsibility and strengthen their bond. You can also seek out versatile toys and games that can be adapted for different ages, ensuring both children can participate together, like a balance bike for your toddler in order to join big sibling on a bike ride! Be mindful of each child's individual needs along the way. Give the older child opportunities for independence while also facilitating family time in order to create a balanced dynamic.