Grandparental involvement is supposed to be a source of joy and support. However, not all families experience the anticipated warmth and closeness from this relationship. When this happens, you might find yourself grappling with grief.

Every family dynamic is unique; not all grandparents may be capable or willing to provide the desired support. This can generate feelings of loss, disappointment, and even resentment.

It can help to remember that while you’re adjusting to new parenthood, your parents are adjusting to new grandparenthood, too. When we hold certain roles in our families for years, and suddenly, these roles change, it can bring a mismatch of expectations. Sometimes, the reason for this tension is just a mismatch of expectations.

When this is the case, communication is the only way forward. Ask them how they see their role and how much time they want to spend together. Even if their answer is not what you hoped, the clarity can help you find acceptance and move forward.