One of the common culprits to new-parent overwhelm is when we’re faced with the abrupt overhaul to our daily routine. Before parenthood, we largely controlled what we did and when. Now, with a tiny newborn, we can’t just stick to the routine that once was because that was designed around adulthood. We have to build a new flow that respects the needs of a baby without totally self-sacrificing our own needs. Easy, right?

Build your new days together with flexibility over rigidity. It’s easier on both of you to offer sleep to your baby when they’re genuinely sleepy, feed when hungry, and play when they’re alert. You may be the grownup, but your baby inherently knows their needs best and doesn’t need you to direct the day more than they need you to tune in, respond, and support their needs as they naturally arise.

Foregoing rigidity doesn’t mean life with a baby is supposed to be unstructured and unpredictable. Your baby will naturally develop sleep and wake patterns that, when supported, provide routines that are grounding for both of you. Most babies show predictable patterns by around 3-4 months old.

A sleep pattern refers to the recurring cycles of sleep and wakefulness that babies experience throughout a 24-hour period. It encompasses the natural rhythm and timing of their sleep, which is influenced by factors such as age, developmental stage, hunger, and comfort.

Babies do not have a fixed sleep schedule like adults, who might simply choose a time to lay down and fall asleep, followed by a determined time to wake up and get going. Instead, babies follow a flexible pattern of sleeping, feeding, and wakefulness that gradually evolves.

So, a huge part of adapting to our baby’s routines and sleep needs is simply meeting them on their level, following their cues, and learning to hold space for changing rhythms.