Understanding self-soothing and sleep training
Self-soothing is a term you’ll hear coming up in the context of sleep training, which encompasses a broad range of strategies used to encourage babies to sleep through the night. Self-soothing for babies is their ability to calm themselves and regulate their emotions, which is sometimes pitched as a skill that must be taught as part of sleep training in order for babies to sleep longer stretches.
To put it simply, sleep training is an attempt at teaching or nurturing the ability to self-soothe, but are babies capable of self-soothing?
The controversy around self-soothing
It's important to note that self-soothing abilities may vary among babies and develop at different ages. Some babies may naturally show signs of self-soothing earlier, while others may need more time and support from caregivers. Aside from anecdotal evidence, no conclusive studies show babies can be taught or trained to self-soothe effectively1. If that is the case, then are we harming babies by assuming they can learn to self-soothe if left on their own? Is this any different than teaching your child to swim by throwing them in the deep end of a pool?
Does sleep training stress babies?
One significant concern about sleep training, where the goal may be to encourage self-soothing, is the potential stress it may cause babies. Some studies have measured cortisol (a hormone that increases during stress) levels during and after sleep training, but the results are mixed and often hard to interpret.
Long-term impacts of sleep training
Studies examining the long-term impacts of sleep training have found no significant negative effects on child mental health, development, or the parent-child relationship. However, these studies often have limitations, and the lack of observed negative impacts doesn't necessarily mean that sleep training is entirely harmless.
In summary, formal training is not necessary for your child to self-soothe. Learning to regulate their emotions, whether at night or by day, is a life skill, and it is normal and healthy for your baby to need co-regulation, which is the act of helping your baby to regulate their emotions by sharing your calm with them.
Whether you choose sleep training or not, remember that you're doing your best, and that's what matters most.