Of all the passionate debates centered around raising a baby, perhaps the most intense and personal ones involve sleep. From when to where and how, it seems like everyone has an opinion. What makes figuring out your style difficult is that few black-and-white answers exist in this world.
Two terms often discussed in the sleep space are co-sleeping and sleep training, so let’s dig a little deeper into what they mean.
What is co-sleeping?
Co-sleeping refers to sharing a sleep space with your baby. It covers two types of arrangements: sharing the same bed (bed-sharing) or sharing the same room (room-sharing).
Room-sharing is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) for all parents of babies under six months of age, but bed-sharing is not recommended by the AAP.
Features of co-sleeping:
Built-in bonding:One of the most significant aspects of co-sleeping is the enhanced bonding it fosters thanks to the parent-baby proximity of this nighttime setup.
Easier access for feeding:Co-sleeping can make nighttime breastfeeding easier. With the baby right next to you, night feeds become less disruptive, potentially allowing both you and baby to get back to sleep more quickly.
May maximize sleep:Co-sleeping doesn’t eliminate night wakings, but for some families, it makes the night wakings easier to manage, which can maximize sleep.
Potentially reduces SIDS risk:Several studies suggest that room-sharing (not bed-sharing) could reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) by as much as 50 percent.
Things to also keep in mind:
Increased risk of suffocation:Room-sharing is protective, but bed-sharing can increase the risk of suffocation if measures are not taken to eliminate hazards. While bed-sharing can be done safely, there is no way to sleep on a chair or couch safely with baby.
May impact your sleep for the worse:Sharing a bed with a wriggling baby can take some getting used to. You may find your sleep quality compromised due to constant movements and noises.
Can disrupt intimacy:With a baby sharing the bed, opportunities for closeness and privacy between you and your partner may feel reduced. Some couples may enjoy the family bed and find ways to connect beyond the bedroom, but others may struggle with this setup.
What is sleep training?
Sleep training is an umbrella term for various methods and levels of intervention in which the parent takes a guided approach to promoting sleep hygiene, sleep routines, and positive sleep associations that help babies sleep. It's generally based on the idea that good sleep habits can be learned.
Sleep training is sometimes equated to the “cry-it-out” method, in which a parent is asked to stop soothing a baby at night. Also called “extinction,” this strict method is still practiced today. The reality is the landscape of sleep training includes several approaches that may be a good fit for your family.
Other approaches that are more popular today include:
“Checking in” -involves putting baby to bed awake and leaving the room to see if they self-settle. Parents return to respond and check in during planned increments of time.
“Camping out” -involves parents room-sharing, staying close to respond as babies adjust to their own crib. Gradually, the parent decreases check-ins over the course of a few days as they transition back to their own bedroom.
“Positive routines” -Some sleep educators solely focus on parent education, helping the parent respond to their baby overnight as much as they want, but arming them with developmentally-appropriate sleep expectations to refine routines.
The benefits of sleep training can include:
May promote longer, uninterrupted sleep: Once a sleep routine is established, babies may sleep for longer stretches. However, current studies find that this gain is minimal and may only be by about 15 minutes or so.
More overall support for the parent: Sleep training involves establishing and adhering to a consistent sleep routine and often equips parents with tips on wake windows, separation anxiety, and common sleep regressions ahead. This structure can be grounding for some parents who feel overwhelmed by sleep.
The drawbacks of sleep training can include:
Crying: Some sleep training methods like “checking in” do involve letting your baby cry. This can be distressing for some.
It is not a “one and done” thing: For sleep training to be effective, consistency is key. It’s not something that is implemented once and sticks for the rest of early childhood. Many parents who sleep train end up sleep training many times as baby’s sleep ebbs and flows over the months.
May be temperament-specific: Babies who are more easygoing may take seamlessly to a structured sleep approach. Babies who are more high needs may thrive under a more connected and close nighttime approach.
Deciding how to navigate infant sleep is a personal choice, and it's essential to consider your family's needs, lifestyle, and your baby's temperament. Ultimately, the goal is to ensure your baby gets enough sleep in a safe environment and that you also get the much-needed rest you need and deserve. Remember, there is no “right” or “wrong” nighttime approach, only the one that works best for your family.