Co-sleeping in toddlerhood can be a great fit for some families. Co-sleeping can refer to sharing a room but having separate surfaces to sleep on, bedsharing, or snuggling up on the same mattress.
Sleeping in the same room with your baby, but on separate sleep surfaces, is recommended until they are around six months old. This general timeframe often implies that parents are supposed to have their baby in a crib in their own room somewhere between 6-12 months old.
In reality, families transition to cribs and separate bedrooms at different times – and some never do! Or, some transition to a crib but continue to co-sleep on and off. Culturally, co-sleeping remains relatively common around the world throughout early childhood.
And, even though it is seen as “taboo” in Western culture, a cross-cultural analysis of sleep habits in young children found that it’s pretty common here, too. Approximately 13.1% of U.S. caregivers reported sharing a bed with their child between the ages of 3-6 (Mindell et al., 2013).
So, you’re not alone if co-sleeping is on your mind as you navigate the ups and downs of toddler sleep. Is it for you? Here’s a checklist of anecdotal parent pros and cons to guide your decision:
Pros:
Responsiveness is still developmentally appropriate: Infancy spans your child’s first three years of life, so just because you have a toddler doesn’t mean they no longer benefit from your closeness. Co-sleeping is one way to remain attuned to their needs, which can continue to support a secure attachment.
It can be logistically convenient: For some parents and caregivers, remaining close to their toddler at night feels lighter, as they don’t have to travel back and forth between rooms to check on cries or signals for support.
Bedsharing is now safer. The highest risk for SIDS is between 0-6 months old. In terms of sleep conditions, it’s generally thought to be safer to introduce a loose blanket or small pillow for your child between 12-18 months old. This type of co-sleeping can be more appropriate for parents who prefer this setup but could not bed share before due to safety concerns.
Cons:
Co-sleeping can be more disruptive to parent sleep. Some parents sleep better in separate sleep situations. Choosing to do so does not mean you can’t still provide responsive care to your child.
It can be uncomfortable for some: Sharing a portion of your bedroom with your toddler can be tricky at times. Maybe you don’t have the space or feel overwhelmed by the extra wiggles and kicks when they’re in bed with you.
It can create a bedtime routine heavily dependent on you: Your toddler might depend on you to lay with them if that’s been part of their bedtime routine. For some, this can feel like a positive sleep association, especially when all parties involved enjoy it! However, there’s no shame if you need to transition to a routine where your toddler is comfortable to start the night, knowing that you will walk away once tucked in.
In short, co-sleeping can be a safe, convenient, and effective way to approach nighttime sleep through early childhood, but it can also disrupt sleep patterns. There is no universal “ideal” approach- only the one that feels best for your family.