When your toddler seems ready for a bedroom upgrade anchored by a “big kid” bed, it’s important to align on developmentally appropriate expectations: what can you honestly expect when ditching those cozy crib rails that have contained your little one’s nighttime slumbers thus far?
First, a note on readiness: Since your child’s impulse control doesn’t really “turn on” until closer to age 3, ditching the crib around ages 1 or 2 would mean that it’s not cognitively within their wheelhouse to stay in their bed if that is important to you. It doesn’t matter how often you tell them to stay put; without impulse control, it’s just too big of a freedom to navigate, and they will get in and out of bed.
Now, this level of freedom can work for some families during infancy when:
The whole nursery is 100 percent childproofed, and the baby can safely navigate the room without hazards.
Caregivers are genuinely comfortable with their child getting in and out of the floor bed themselves, realizing that’s the point of foregoing the containment of a crib.
Otherwise, if your child has been used to the containment of a crib and the containment is important to you, it is not the time to ditch the crib. Yes, even if your 2.5-year-old looks bigger and they are trying to climb out. So long as your little one still meets the crib’s height and weight limits, there are other things you can do to discourage climbing, like:
Place the crib mattress on the lowest setting.
Reposition the crib so that the highest rails face outwards and the shortest side is against the wall.
Putting them in a wearable sleep sack.
The time has come: your 3-4 year old is getting a bed!
Let’s say you wait, and it’s time! Your toddler is now a preschooler, the crib is no longer safe, and they’re a little older and wiser – will it be smooth sailing?
Ages 3-4 are when children do begin to have more capability to understand limits around staying in their bed to rest. This is largely thanks to impulse control starting to turn on in the brain. So, while it’s certainly age-appropriate to expect that your child stays in bed to rest and sleep, it will still be quite tempting for them to get out when it’s a new freedom. They’ll need to grow into this big change, so don’t be surprised if things feel a little emotional or logistically rocky at first.
It’s also important to zoom out and understand how your preschooler’s overall development might impact sleep. Getting older and getting a cool new bed does not guarantee zero sleep woes from now on.
You can expect:
They’ll get out of bed. But, with consistent guidance, they can get back to bed and learn that you mean it over time. Consider giving your child “three passes.” Meaning they can get out of bed up to 3 times for things like: an extra hug or a cup of water. After they use those passes, it’s time to stay put. If they get out a fourth time, avoid a big reaction and just quietly guide them back to bed.
They’ll still need you for wakings, especially around times of illness or other life transitions.
Nighttime separation anxiety will ebb and flow. New-onset fears, like fear of the dark or monsters, are also known to increase around age 4 as children's imagination starts kicking in.
They’ll outgrow daytime naps around age 4, which may temporarily disrupt nighttime sleep.
They’ll exhibit resistance, stalling, protesting bedtime as they grapple with emerging autonomy.
What this means for you: Waiting until ages 3-4 is an ideal time to make this switch, but this is another major transition and an overhaul to their sleep environment, which means it can still be hard.
Be mindful that you don’t get too attached to the whole “big kid bed” upgrade to mean that your child will somehow need you less. It’s more realistic to embrace that they will still need you. Ditching the crib doesn’t change the connection, guidance, co-regulation, and predictability that young children will continue to need around nighttime routines and sleep.