It can be tricky when immediate family and friends show up to celebrate your new baby, but they initiate the kind of support that doesn’t match your needs. While not malicious, this can lead to frustration when left undefined. Here are three ways to advocate for different kinds of support:
When you need less advice, more validation:
“I really appreciate your presence during this special time with our baby. I'm going through a lot of emotional ups and downs right now, and it would mean the world to me if I could just vent a bit and offload my worries without fielding more solutions. Just having someone to listen and empathize with what I'm experiencing is so encouraging to me.”
When you need less hands on the baby, more help around the house:
“We are so grateful you’re here. Having a new baby is quite an adjustment, and so many things are on our plate right now. Would you be able to take care of some errands/ housework I’ve fallen behind on? Your support in this way would give us more time to focus on our baby's needs, which would be invaluable.”
When you need privacy, period.
“We appreciate your eagerness to help! Right now, the biggest thing we need is privacy to heal, bond, and establish new routines as we adjust to life with our little one. It would be great if we could have scheduled times for visits so we can plan and make the most of it. Can we reach out to you when we’re feeling ready to plan a visit?”