You've just given birth to your little bundle of joy, but instead of feeling an overwhelming sense of love, you're feeling... nothing. Or it could be a vague sense of detachment or even confusion. If this is your experience, know that you're not alone. Many new parents struggle with feeling an immediate connection with their newborns. Social media and other depictions of new parenthood make it look like you should feel immediately and solely in love- sometimes that’s the case. But even if you feel love, it is normal to feel like building a bond with your baby doesn’t come right away.

It's important to realize that bonding with your baby is a process and can take time. Parenthood is a huge life transition, and it's okay if you don't instantly feel like you thought you would. Lack of sleep, hormonal changes, and even the physical recovery from childbirth can affect your mood and emotions.

One common feeling new parents experience is guilt. You might be harshly judging yourself, thinking you should feel differently. Remember, it's okay to have these feelings. Be gentle with yourself during this time, and don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself. It's okay if everything isn't picture-perfect.

You can take small, actionable steps to promote bonding with your baby. Skin-to-skin contact is a simple yet effective method to feel closer to your newborn. This also helps your baby to get to know you better. Many parents think skin-to-skin only occurs in the hospital, but this is not the case. Continue skin-to-skin contact at home- it really can bring you and your baby physically and emotionally closer. Taking over some baby care tasks, like feeding or bathing, can also help establish a connection. And it's okay to take it slow.

While it's normal not to feel an immediate bond, if you find your feelings of detachment persisting or accompanied by other symptoms like extreme sadness, lack of energy, or disinterest in activities you used to enjoy, it might be a sign of postpartum depression. If you feel this way, talking to a healthcare professional is critical.

Remember, there's no set timeline for feeling connected to your baby. Everyone's journey is different. Be patient with yourself and take it one day at a time. It's okay to ask for help and reach out to your support network or a mental health professional if you're struggling.