Social-emotional development starts at birth and progresses through adolescence and beyond. It is an umbrella term that refers to our ability to manage and express emotions, build relationships and empathize with others — skills that build over time in our children when effectively modeled, taught, and supported by us.
Key themes of social-emotional development by stage
In infancy, babies are wired to establish secure attachments with primary caregivers. Secure attachments, which form when we positively respond to their needs, build trust in themselves and those around them. This trust instills a key framework for how they can go on to manage emotions and relationships.
Toddlers, preschoolers and kindergarteners build social-emotional skills through play, begin to interact cooperatively with others, are learning to identify their emotions, and can develop some emotion regulation skills (though they will still need our co-regulation, as these skills take years to build).
By elementary, children begin to form more social friendships, practice empathy, refine problem-solving and collaboration skills, as well as executive function skills, which are those brain skills like time management, working memory, impulse control, and flexible thinking. These brain skills help us better relate to others.
During adolescence, teenagers focus on establishing their identity outside of the family. They are practicing decision making, building autonomy, and managing much more complex social and peer relationships.
How you can support social-emotional skills across the ages
Label feelings and be responsive to varied emotions, not just happy ones.
Be a positive role model. “Do as I say, not as I do,” does not work. How we manage emotions has a great influence on how our children will.
Hold space for family time, which strengthens relationships.
Encourage them to pursue their interests to boost their confidence.
Practice mindfulness, like deep breathing, even if it means you have to learn these strategies for the first time as an adult!
Social and emotional skills require patience and grace — and often some intentional work on ourselves as parents if we struggle present day with managing emotions. It’s a journey for you as much as it is for your child!