It’s valid to worry about siblings being a little too close. Young children are still learning about body boundaries, and babies need our help protecting their delicate bodies. Infants do not yet have the ability to control their head, neck and trunk. So, sometimes, well-meaning snuggles can be a physical safety concern—other times, it’s an emotional boundary in that baby may simply want space.
Here are some tips to preserve your child’s excitement in balance with body safety:
Teach them the basics. It’s simply not fair to expect that young children know how to safely interact with a baby. Warnings like “be careful” or “give space” are abstract and hold little meaning for children. Instead provide explicit instructions on the social courtesies we aim to instill. Use a baby doll or stuffed animal to role-play how to hold and play with baby, pointing out things like:
Supporting the baby’s head and bottom while holding
Touching the toes rather than touching their face to minimize germ exposure
Speaking slowly to baby
How we can talk to baby about what we’re going to do even if they can’t speak yet
What gentle hands looks like
How we can offer baby one or two simple choices for toys, being careful not to overwhelm them
You can also model how you do these things with baby, rather than a toy, when your other child is around and watching.
Create visual boundaries in the home. Think about defining visual reminders in your home that signal to your child, “This is baby’s space.” Consider how a crib in baby’s nursery has the rails that signal, “only baby sleeps in here,” and get curious about how you can create similar cues for shared playspaces. Here is an example of a visual boundary in a play space:
Have a large, separate floor mat for the baby within a shared play space. Point out to your child that the mat is the baby’s space and let them know that they can play off of it but not directly on it. This may take several reminders before it sticks (with your close supervision).
Let them know the why, too! “It’s super important for babies to have their own space when they play so they can safely move and concentrate!” This can invite buy-in since it is framed as “teaming up” to support the baby rather than a tone of “you can’t be here.”