One of the most common root causes of noticeable sibling jealousy towards gifts is a hyperfocus on siblings getting an equal amount of gifts.

Yep. Your attempt to be fair by giving them “equal” can backfire. It can make them hyper focus on, “I got six gifts. Did my sister/brother get more? Let’s count and compare.”

Reframe this entirely. “Fair is not always equal.”

Stop trying to count gifts and buy the same, same.

What you pick out for one child may vary from the next child because you’ve taken the time to consider each child’s unique interests and needs. Normalize that and explain that to your kids.

“Fair is not always equal. I chose the things I did for each of you based on what I love and adore about each of you. You are both different people in your own stages!”

When things become about “being the same,” you lose that individuality and that relevancy to what is most needed. And you perpetuate and worsen this concept of competitiveness and obsession over fairness because then they will want to compare if they grow to expect equal treatment.

When you normalize early on that they are unique individuals, you can minimize unnecessary sibling rivalry. Worry far less about making things “even.” Instead, worry more about meeting the individual interests your kids have and fully embracing and celebrating their differences!

Is this favoritism? No. Favoritism is minimizing the needs and interests of one child in favor of another. It is realistic to meet the needs and interests of multiple children without having to make everything “the same.”