As the holiday season approaches, you might notice that your child’s picky eating habits become even more pronounced. Or, maybe they’re generally an adventurous eater, but they seem to lose their appetite right as those time-intensive holiday spreads hit the table. Why does this happen? A few things:
The holidays can throw off routines: Schedules often change during the holidays. Meals may happen at different times, and your child might be more tired or overstimulated from holiday activities. This can lead to a reluctance to try new foods or even eat at all.
So many new foods: Holiday gatherings often feature a variety of foods that your child may not be used to. The sight, smell, or texture of these dishes might seem strange, causing your child to stick with what’s familiar.
Undue pressure: With friends and family around, there may be more pressure for your child to eat a certain way or try new things. Adults tend to hyper-focus on young children “clearing their plates” or “trying just one more bite,” in a way that would be seen as rude if said to another adult. This awkward pressure placed on kids can increase anxiety and make them more resistant to eating.
To help, aim for the reverse of those pitfalls
Try to maintain some consistency with sleep, play, and feeding times. Set boundaries on outings and gatherings that push your child’s schedule out of whack.
Emphasize their “safe foods,” or those familiar foods you know they like. This encourages children to stay at the table when they sit down and realize, “phew. I do recognize these carrots. I will start with these! Oh good, there’s mom’s mac and cheese I love. One scoop of that, please!”
Try self-serve style. Rather than make your child’s plate for them, offer options and invite them to choose. Even if they only pick their safe foods, that’s okay!
Give “taste tester” portions. Children need much smaller portions than we often assume, and starting small can make it easier for grownups to stop commenting or pressuring them to “clean” their plate. If they want more, they can always get seconds!
Keep the focus on quality time. The goal is not getting your child to forcefully try Aunt Suzy’s green bean casserole; it’s to ensure your child has an overall positive exposure to gathering with your loved ones. If people start chiming in with a hyper-focus on what your child is eating or is not eating, prepare to advocate and redirect. “Trying new foods can take time! Please keep the pressure off his plate. Let’s get back to talking about…”
Ensure their seating arrangement is comfortable. This one is easy to overlook, but children who cannot ground their feet in oversized chairs will find it hard to sit still and eat. Make arrangements for them to use a high chair, booster seat, or child-size table and chair when feasible.
Most importantly, work on staying neutral. Try not to take rejection during meals as a personal matter. Stick to the evidence-based approach by Ellyn Satter: Your job is to offer a variety of nutritious foods, and your child’s job is to determine what and how much to eat. It’s typical for eating habits to fluctuate, especially during the holidays. With patience and understanding, you can help your child navigate this time with minimal stress.