Trick-or-treating is a potentially overwhelming tradition to introduce to little ones, so you’re not alone if you’re wondering what tips exist from seasoned parents. Here are three major reframes and a handful of practical tips to keep in mind.
First, these reframes can’t be understated:
You’re a good parent regardless of whether or not your kid says thank you.Kids are excited and distracted, so they might not always remember to say “thank you” at every doorstep. Even as children get older, some may be non-verbal. This is not a reflection of your parenting or anyone else’s, so rather than stress about it and shout, “WHAT DO YOU SAY?! YOU HAVE TO SAY THANK YOU,” over and over again from the curb, focus on modeling gratitude in moments when your child can’t verbally engage. A simple, “We appreciate it. Happy Halloween!” is more appropriate (and less stressful for everyone).
You’re a good parent regardless of whether or not you limit candy or leave it open-ended. Every family handles Halloween treats differently, and it’s important to remember that there’s no universal right way. Whether you set some parameters or let your child dive into the loot freely, the key is making choices that align with your values and your child’s individual needs.
You’re a good parent regardless of whether or not you even decide to go trick-or-treating. Not every family chooses to participate in trick-or-treating, and that’s perfectly valid. Whether it’s because of personal preferences, sensory sensitivities, or logistical challenges, opting out doesn’t make you less of a parent.
If you do decide to trick-or-treat, here are some toddler-friendly tips:
Ensure your child’s costume is comfortable and easy to move in. Avoid costumes with restrictive masks, long capes, or accessories that might become a tripping hazard. Also, ensure they carry a child-sized bucket or bag that they enjoy toting around. Otherwise, you’ll likely have to carry it for them.
Explain what trick-or-treating will be like in concrete terms—how they'll go from house to house, say “trick or treat,” and collect candy. This helps reduce any surprises and lets them know what to expect. See if you can borrow some books from your library that may help showcase what it’s like, too.
Start early and keep it short. Younger children often tire out quickly, so starting earlier in the evening while it’s still light out can help avoid meltdowns from exhaustion. Plan a short route to make it easier to loop back home if things get overwhelming.
Use a stroller or wagon (or bring your toddler carrier). Even if your toddler is energetic, it’s smart to have a backup plan for when they need a little break or retreat. You can also use it to hold back-up items, like water, jackets, or blankets.
Use the potty first. There’s nothing worse than getting 10 minutes from your home, only for your children to say they have to go pee. Prompt them to use the bathroom just before leaving to help prevent close calls. If your toddler is in the midst of potty learning, using a pull-up can be helpful since it’s difficult to get to a potty quickly while dressed up and on foot.