If your child suddenly doesn’t want to wear their costume anymore, take a moment to approach the situation with curiosity before reacting. Start by asking them why they don’t want to wear it. It might be a sensory issue, a change in how they feel about the attire, or simply discomfort. Understanding their feelings is key before jumping to any conclusions or solutions.

Next, consider your own limits.

If buying a second costume is out of the question, don’t offer it as an option. Instead, think about what compromises you're comfortable with. Could they wear part of the costume, or perhaps accessorize in a way that makes them feel more in control? It’s important to have a clear boundary in mind before discussing the next steps with your child.

Consider how toddlers and young children are in a stage of life where asserting autonomy is essential.

If you find yourself emotionally tied to the idea of them wearing a specific costume—especially if it was your choice—ask yourself if it’s worth the power struggle. Try to meet your child where they are. After all, how would you feel if a friend insisted you wear something you weren’t comfortable with? Removing that sense of control can often lead to a smoother resolution, and your child may surprise you by engaging in the process more willingly when they feel heard.

It’s nuanced, but this general framework is actionable because it reminds you to slow down and get curious about your individual child’s current needs. Refrain from negative thinking, like, “They’re being so ungrateful! We already spent money on this costume!” Chances are, your child is struggling in some way, and they don’t know how to communicate it clearly or tactfully. So much of parenting is taking glimpses of our children’s emotions and doing our very best investigative work to uncover the full story.