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Is it normal that my instinct is to yell at my husband?
Is it normal that my instinct is to yell at my husband?
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Written by Emily Greenberg
Updated over 2 weeks ago

Experiencing intense emotions post-childbirth is quite common. It's called "postpartum rage," and yes, it can also make you want to yell at your husband. This unexpected guest can make the already rollercoaster ride of parenthood bumpier.

What is it, and why is it happening?

Hormonal changes and sleep deprivation after childbirth can manifest as intense anger, typically over minor incidents. It might be your husband leaving his socks on the floor or your baby's wails reaching a new pitch.

Here's how to tackle it:

1. Define Your Triggers:

Keep a journal. Identify situations or actions that spark your anger. Is it clutter? Noise? Or a lack of help around the house? Once you know your triggers, you can take proactive steps to manage or avoid them.

2. Set Boundaries and Expectations:

Clarity can prevent many triggers. Have a chat with your partner and set clear expectations about chores, baby duties, and even quiet hours. Remember, your partner is not a mind reader, and clear instructions can be a lifesaver!

3. Use "I" Statements:

When communicating, frame it from your perspective to avoid sounding accusatory. "I feel overwhelmed when the house is cluttered. Can we keep things tidier?" is better received than, "You always leave your things everywhere!"

4. Quick Stress-busters:

Develop quick calming techniques that work for you. Five minutes of deep breathing, a cup of herbal tea or even a brisk walk in the hallway can provide immediate relief when anger strikes.

5. Professional Help:

If rage episodes increase in frequency or intensity, consider seeking professional help. This could indicate postpartum depression or anxiety, and timely intervention is key.

Remember, having postpartum rage doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It's a temporary phase that many new mothers go through. Identifying your triggers and using these strategies can help you regain your calm and enjoy these precious early days with your baby.

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