Introducing your baby to new people and experiences is beneficial and supportive to their overall development. It helps them adapt to life as they get to know our beautiful world in a factual sense – the sounds of nature and the faces of friends, all while absorbing the native language spoken around them.
However, the goal of these early interactions shouldn’t be confused with the idea that babies need to “be socialized.” They primarily need time to bond with you, and this is true for all of infancy, which lasts from birth to three years old!
Your direct family is your baby’s most important “community” at first
When we think of socialization, we sometimes think of getting our children to play with others or be comfortable apart from us. However, your baby’s confidence to be apart from you comes in time, rooted in secure attachment to you. Further, your baby’s ability to cooperatively play with others doesn’t typically emerge until around 4-6 years old. This increased social capacity can’t be forced or rushed.
Stranger and separation anxiety is normal and healthy to see
It’s developmentally appropriate to see stranger or separation anxiety emerge in your baby, and this is not a sign that you are failing as a parent. It simply demonstrates that they have formed a healthy attachment to you and that they are making social, emotional, and cognitive leaps.
Separation anxiety commonly emerges around 6 months old, and it’s when your baby suddenly cries as the result of you walking away. Separation anxiety ebbs and flows throughout childhood and sometimes even into adolescence.
When your baby shows separation anxiety, avoid sneaking away. Instead, build a positive separation routine, such as “two hugs, three kisses.” Keep the goodbye warm and connected but brief and confident.
Stranger anxiety commonly surfaces around 8 months. Your baby may suddenly show distrust around unfamiliar people and want to cling to you. This is typically outgrown by around 3 years of age.
When your baby shows stranger anxiety, respect their pace. Remember it’s developmentally normal for them to want to be close to you, so hold space for a warm up period with unfamiliar people and in new environments.
Your baby’s trust and confidence to explore independently and interact positively with others will grow over many, many years.