There is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” baby, but babies do have different temperaments - in this way, some can seem more “high needs” than others. The term “high-needs” baby is generally used to describe babies who seem to need extra comfort, co-regulation, and reassurance.
Remember, all babies have needs, and labeling a baby “high needs” is a bit abstract as it will be heavily influenced by parent perception. Often, we are likely to perceive our first-borns as more “intense” than subsequent children because the entire adjustment to parenthood might be intense.
That said, it can be validating to understand that variance in temperaments can explain why some babies sleep soundly and are easygoing, while others are more sensitive to stimuli and wake frequently at night.
A high-needs baby may:
Seem persistently fussy or “intense”
Demand frequent feedings
Resist swaddling
Struggle to sleep through the night
Demand a lot of closeness and physical proximity
Show signs of overstimulation relatively easily
Babies with a higher-needs temperament can be tiring from a parent's POV because it can feel like you are pouring from an empty cup or “missing something.” Rest assured that your responsiveness is enough, and you are not failing or doing anything wrong if your baby thrives with more co-regulation and closeness. Try not to compare your baby’s temperament with another baby.
If you’re concerned that your baby’s fussiness, sleep, or feeding demands become excessive or appear with signs of pain and distress, speak with your pediatrician.