Generally speaking, no. There are more scenarios than not where it makes sense to let your toddler or young child begin choosing and planning what to wear and how many layers they feel they need – within certain parameters. Let’s break this down.

Autonomy in child development refers to the growing ability to make their own choices and decisions, fostering independence and self-confidence. Supporting this does not lead to “anything goes,” or permissive, uninvolved parenting. It’s part of authoritative parenting, in which we are both sturdy leaders and effective teachers for our kids – striking a balance of freedoms and limits for them to scaffold skills.

So, allowing your child to choose what they wear can be a great way to support their independence skills in a low-stakes scenario, where the worst that could happen if they poorly planned would be feeling cold. To which, next time, they’ll be more likely to plan better because they experienced firsthand how it felt to miss their coat.

No, this doesn’t mean let your child freeze.

Remember, you are still there to set limits. Hazardous weather or a sick child are valid scenarios to make self-dressing non-negotiable. Enforcing this might sound like:

But, in the absence of specifically hazardous weather or nuanced health situations, it’s typical that your child is ready to have more freedom deciding how to dress their own body.

Aren’t they too young to know how they feel?

When a child says they’re too hot to wear a jacket, it’s important to listen. When you allow your child to decide if they need a jacket—or to stop eating when they say they are full, or to rest when they say they feel tired—you’re encouraging them to tune into their body’s signals, which supports interoception. Interoception, or mind-body connection, is crucial for self-regulation and overall well-being.

Interoception, understanding how to listen to our bodies, is not something to arbitrarily support later in life because it needs explicit practice. In fact, if you frequently override how your child feels, they learn the opposite—how to suppress and ignore their own body cues. This can lead to teens and adults who don’t feel connected to their own bodies and who struggle to advocate for or set boundaries around their feelings and basic needs.

What if they ended up wanting a jacket after saying they didn’t need it?

That’s fine! They changed their mind because they checked in with their body. That’s the point – give them practice checking in with how they feel, and make it a safe space for them to advocate for how they feel.

Fast forward 15 years when your toddler is now a teenager, and they walk into a social situation that they initially wanted to join – only to realize ten minutes in, they started to feel unsafe. If they grew up where it was safe to advocate – even if it meant changing their mind – they can more effortlessly say, “This isn’t for me. Time to leave.”

Don’t treat your toddler with, “Told you so.” It’s not a helpful or productive tone. Simply carry or bring the jacket as a back-up for particularly long outings. This way if they do change their mind, it’s available.

Plus, kids can run hotter than grownups

Kids tend to be more physically active, which generates body heat and makes them feel warmer than adults who may be standing still. Just because you feel chilly doesn’t mean your child does.

All in all, trusting your child’s feelings can help prevent unnecessary battles over layers of clothing. Of course, there are situations where parental guidance is needed, but in everyday situations, trusting your child’s judgment can help them develop autonomy, interoception, and self-confidence – which are pretty big things!