Moving is … a lot. It can also generate different feelings, challenges, and joys depending on the circumstances of the move. Whether in the best of circumstances or the hardest, moving to a new home from your child's perspective will inevitably be a big adjustment.
It can also be emotional. In some ways, moving can feel like a loss. Even though a house is not a living thing, the people who live in it are what make it home. Our home becomes the backbone of our family.
There are things you can do to make the move a little lighter, but try to hold space for the emotional aspect, too. No matter how little or mature your child may be when you change homes, moving involves a big goodbye for everyone in your family – and that’s hard.
Little things that can help:
Involve them:Talk to your children about the move simply and concretely. Explain why it's happening and what to expect. This doesn't eliminate the varied feelings, but it sure helps them feel more grounded in what they can expect. We want to give young children time to process but not too much time. For a big transition like this give 2-4 weeks - something that fits on one visual calendar.
Visit the new home:If possible, take them to visit the new home and neighborhood. This can help them feel more comfortable and maybe even excited. Remind them it’s okay to feel two feelings at once. Leaving can be hard, and we can look forward to the next page. If this is not possible, take a virtual tour of landmarks in your new neighborhood and show pictures of the houses.
Set up their space first– and keep it familiar to create a comforting environment. Include their favorite toys, bedding, and decorations to make the space feel like home. Let your children help with unpacking and setting up their new space. This can give them a sense of control and ownership. For children who are a little older, you can have them pick something new to have in their new space. This may create excitement about the change.
Reach for routine:Try to keep to your children's usual routines as much as possible, including meal times, nap times, and bedtimes.
Explore together:Take walks or drives around the new neighborhood to familiarize your children with their new surroundings. Locate nearby parks, playgrounds, and other family-friendly spots. Also, celebrate the move! This can help create positive associations with the new home.
Above all, hold space for various emotional reactions to the move, such as excitement, anxiety, or sadness. Listen to their concerns and reassure them. Let them know it's okay to feel whatever they're feeling. If they were at an age where they were close to peer friends before the move, help them stay in touch with old friends through video calls, letters, or visits.